Potty training can be an intimidating task. This post will tell you the best way to potty train your toddler (including nighttime), along with some tips and my personal experience!
When my daughter turned two I knew I needed to start potty training her, but I felt so lost on what to do. I have seen parents really struggle with this, so I figured it would be a hard task that I could mess up. This led me to do some research on the internet. Unfortunately, there is a lot of information out there, especially on Instagram and Pinterest. I saw parents giving rewards, using pull ups, introducing the potty before potty training, and even taking a nonchalant attitude towards potty training. Needless to say, I still had no idea how to actually do it.
After researching, I finally decided to read a book. In every other aspect of life, I find myself researching and reading books about various topics. So why was this aspect of life any different?
I decided to read the book, “Oh Crap! Potty Training” by Jamie Glowacki. This book completely changed my whole view on potty training. I was left feeling confident and I knew exactly what to do. The book explains that potty training is a skill you need to teach your child just like any other skill you teach them (walking, talking, ABCs, etc.). I don’t know why potty training is viewed as “hard” but this book completely changed my viewpoint.
In this post, I will explain exactly what I did and some ideas from the book, but you should seriously read this book (or listen to the audiobook). It will leave you feeling confident in the potty training of your toddler and ready to take it on. The book also has so much more information on specific problems or situations you may find yourself in that I did not.
I potty trained without giving rewards (no stickers, no candy, etc.), I did not use Pull Ups or training underwear, I did not have to “introduce the potty” before hand, no sitting the child on the potty for hours, and I did not prolong the process. My daughter was using the potty in one weekend and in about a month the process was complete. No more diapers. I also nighttime potty trained during this time, so we are completely diaper free!
I potty trained my daughter at 28 months. This was because I didn’t know when or how to do it. But after reading “Oh Crap! Potty Training” I wish I would’ve started earlier. In the book, the author states the best time to potty train is between 22 months to 30 months. (She does have tips for potty training earlier or later if you are out of that range.)
The How To
There is no lead up to the big event. You just start. You do want to have at least three days where you do not go anywhere and you can watch your child completely. No distractions. After that, you can start introducing going out to do other activities.
You are teaching your child a new skill that they have previously never known. They have no prior experience besides a diaper. This is something completely new, but they will catch on (probably quicker than you even realize).
So, first step you take the diaper off. Let your child run around without clothes on from the waist down. At first, I did not want to do this. I thought there had to be some other way. But no, this is the way you need to do it. After doing this, it makes so much sense.
When the child pees, take them straight to the potty. That’s it. Watch them and you might notice that they do a “pee dance” or some expression so you will know when it is coming.
Next, after the first few days and once the child has caught on, you start to introduce loose shorts or pants but no underwear. You keep this up for about 2 to 3 weeks. Seriously. Underwear is almost like a diaper sensation, so leave it off until the child is completely potty trained and understands the process.
After about a month, you can introduce underwear. Your toddler is now completely potty trained!
The First Day
The first day is the hardest. Know that going in. You will want to give up and just put a diaper back on, but believe me, it will get better. After that first night of sleep, your child’s brain will suddenly “get it” and you will be amazed. Not saying it is an instant process, but it will gradually get better.
So, that first day you want to watch your child constantly. Never let them out of your sight. The very first time they start to pee, you will pick them up and take them to the potty. It’s okay if hardly any pee gets into the potty. Your child has no idea what this new sensation feels like, so they need to learn. They will go from knowing and understanding that I peed, to I’m peeing, to I need to pee. It will happen.
Yes, you will end up with puddles on the floor and that’s okay. Just tell your child pee goes in the potty and clean it up. Also, pee is sterile so not a big deal! For those first few days, you may want to limit your child to a few rooms only, stay away from carpets, roll up nice rugs, and keep towels at hand.
So, every time they pee, take them to the potty. This will last a few days, but eventually they will start to make the connection and go to the potty by themselves. But that first day (and even the first fews days) are absolutely exhausting. But it is worth it and they will be potty trained soon enough!
During that first day, you may want to give them a little more liquid than normal just so they will have to pee more. This will give them more experiences with the feeling of peeing so they can learn.
Poop is a different story. The child may not even poop on the first day and that’s okay. I actually gave my child a warm bath at night and she would poop right after that, so just do what works for your child. But it’s basically the same idea of letting them realize what that feels like and putting them on the potty.
Give your child verbal praise when they do potty but no tangible rewards. Also, let the child help to dump the contents of the potty into the big toilet. They will love it and it also gives them a feeling of pride and accomplishment.
Day 3 to Week 3
After the first few days (usually by day 3), children will start to get it. At this point, you can try to let your child wear loose pants or shorts. This will still let them feel pee on their leg, so they can still learn when they will need to potty. Underwear feels like a diaper, so do not put it on them just yet.
Girls can wear dresses during this time so they don’t even have to worry about wearing pants! Boys can wear really loose boxers.
This period will probably last for a few weeks, maybe even a month. Even if we went somewhere, my daughter did not wear underwear. Seriously, you want to make sure they are completely ready to move on to underwear.
When that time comes and you feel they are ready, let them wear underwear. If it doesn’t work, then take them off for a few more days. It’s that simple.
The whole potty training process might take a month to get to the wearing underwear part, but once they get to that point, they will be completely potty trained. No looking back!
Potty Training Tips
Use a little potty. This is the right size for a toddler to sit on by themselves and feel confident. You don’t have to worry about steps or seats on the big toilet. Some children might be afraid of the big toilet, but a little potty that is their size is just right. I used a potty that looks just like a real toilet and even has a flushing sound which my toddler enjoyed. (Link below)
Keep the potty in the bathroom. Or at least a private place of the house. Your child may not be comfortable going in the middle of the living room with everyone watching. You do your business in a bathroom, so your child will want to as well.
Take your child to the bathroom with you. Let your child watch you go to the bathroom. This will help them understand the process and know that you do it too! Children learn a lot from just watching us. Tell your child what you are doing the whole time.
Keep books by the potty. Sometimes poop can be a little more challenging. Having a book to read to your child may help them. We had a few books that my child would read or I would read to my child while she pooped. This helped her to concentrate during it and also gave a little routine to this time.
Watch your language. Tell your child to “push down their pants.” They will understand this better. Also, always tell them “pee/poop goes in the potty.” Do not get mad or punish the child for getting anything on the floor, they are still learning.
Do not constantly ask your child to go to the potty. Your child will start to understand when they need to go to the potty, so there is no need to constantly nag. Sometimes, the nagging will have the opposite effect. Also, those first few days they are learning what it feels like so they don’t even know if they have to.
Verbal Praise. Absolutely no rewards. Children have a natural desire to please at this age. You do not need to give them a tangible reward, they will simply do it just to please you and feel a sense of pride.
Pee is Sterile. Just in case you need another reminder that it is okay! Just clean it up and continue on.
The child will help clean up. If the child pees on the floor, have them help you clean it up with a towel. This way, you can tell them pee goes in the potty and it’s a natural consequence that they need to clean it up. Remember there are no “accidents” during the first month, they are still learning!
Take a potty with you. If you do have to leave the house, put the little potty in the car. This way, if your child says they need to potty, you are ready. This also is a lot easier than trying to use a public potty.
All children are different. Your child might not potty train as quickly as another child and that’s okay. All children will learn to use the potty. Some may be more difficult, but it will happen.
Nighttime Potty Training
This is a hard one. Even the book didn’t have a “great” potty training idea for this. In the book, she said she recommended limiting drinks a few hours before bed and to wake your child up to pee once at night until they can make it all night. You could even leave a potty in the child’s room to potty at night if they happen to wake up on their own.
I decided to nighttime potty train at the end of day 2. On the first day of potty training, I was exhausted and thought we would see how she did the next day so she wore a diaper to bed. On day 2, she did so much better at understanding the process so I decided to start not wearing a diaper at nighttime either.
The first few nights, I tried to wake her up to pee. I was up during the night feeding a baby anyway, so it wasn’t too hard for me to wake her up to pee if I thought she might need to. She sleeps with us, so I started to notice if she started moving around a lot that she might need to pee so I took her to potty. I also limited her drinks a few hours before bed, which I think helped the most.
By day 5, she started to make it through the night without being woke up to pee during the night. The author mentioned that they will naturally start controlling their bladder so I think overtime, they can make it longer stretches without peeing.
Naps
Naps are another challenging aspect of potty training. Since it is such a short amount of time, the author suggested just to let the child wear a diaper. My child is not the best napper, so if she did take a nap, I did not put her in a diaper. She usually woke up dry. Occasionally, she did pee during her nap if she didn’t pee right before her nap. After the first few months, she stopped peeing during her naps.
My Experience
Here is an overview of my personal experience. All children are different, but this is overall how our potty training happened. My daughter was 28 months when we started.
First Day: I watched my daughter carefully all day. The very first time she started peeing, I picked her up and took her to the potty. Very little pee went into the potty. 90% of the pee did not go in the potty. We had two big pees on the floor, the rest were taken to the potty when I noticed her peeing. She did not poop all day. She didn’t pee during her nap. She wore no pants all day. We did put a pull up on her at night.
Second Day: Almost 100% of the pee went in the potty. She went to the potty by herself and even went a few times when nothing came out. Pooped in the potty shortly after taking a bath that night. Still no pants. Started to night time train.
Third/Fourth Day: Almost 100% both days. Mostly pantless still, but tried to wear pants a few times. I had to help her pull them up and down. She did pee on the floor one time while wearing shorts, but peed right in front of the potty so she tried to make it.
Fifth Day: We went on an outing this day and she did great. She still struggled with pulling pants up and down. She had two accidents towards the end of the day. One time, she sat on the potty with her shorts still on and peed. She did not wear a diaper to bed, did not wake up to pee, and woke up dry.
Sixth Day: Went back to mostly no pants. She did great with going to the potty all day.
Seventh/Eighth Day: Made it the potty 100% on both days. Started to understand how to take her pants down but still needed some help on pulling them back up.
Week 2-3: She did great most of the time with a few accidents occasionally. Started wearing pants or dresses everyday without underwear. She really started to understand the process.
Week 4: When I felt like she was ready, we introduced underwear this week. By this point, she could easily pull her pants up and down and went to the potty for peeing and pooping all the time. When we introduced underwear, she did great!
A Few Months in: I am pretty confident in her ability to potty when she needs to. I will occasionally ask her if she needs to potty and she will tell me yes or no, and I trust her. We can go on long car rides and outings and we don’t have any problems. I still take her small potty in the car. Nighttime potty training is going well. She will occasionally pee at night if she drinks too close to bedtime.
Five Months in: By this point, she is completely potty trained day and night and I really don’t think too much about it. She will go to the potty when she needs to go. We go out to the store, library, walks, and long car rides with no problems. She can use a big toilet if we need to while we are out, so I have stopped taking her potty with us as much. Wearing diapers is a distant memory.
I hope you learned a lot from this post. Make sure to read “Oh Crap! Potty Training” to help you feel even more confident. Remember, your child can do this and you can too!
Thank you for Continually Learning with us!
Kyle and Sarah
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